Pet monkey's dramatic disaster

Something terrible has happened. My pet theological monkey, "David Sky" asked if he could borrow a book. I said, "Help yourself. Reading should keep you quiet for a bit." He was trying to get hold of John Calvin's Ideas by Paul Helm, when disaster struck. Kevin Vanhoozer's The Drama of Doctrine caught his eye, "It's just so orange!" said the monkey. He reached for the mighty tome, lost his footing and the book landed right on top of him. "Help!" He cried, "I'm being crushed by The Drama of Doctrine!" I rushed to the scene, took the photo you can see above and then gently lifted the book. Luckily, it wasn't damaged. But the monkey was left dazed, confused and badly bruised. I don't know if he'll ever be able to blog again.

The strange thing is, that since being walloped by the D of D, he has been talking kind of weird. Instead of saying, "Let's have a chat over a cup of tea.", he'll say "Let's do some speech acts over a receptacle of postlactarian tea-leaf-based beverage." It's kind of freaking me out and I don't know what to do about it. I've tried nouthetic counseling, but he just says, "Don't get stroppy with me. It's not my fault I got compressed by your book." Oh dear! This event has pushed me beyond the limits of my pastoral training and experience. They simply don't prepare you for things like this at the London Theological Seminary.