The shame of it

‘What will the neighbours say?’ worries Mrs Waldo in Under Milk Wood by Dylan Thomas. Her husband’s much gossiped about behaviour was tarnishing the family name. Thomas’s play for voices was the product of 1950s Britain when the fear of being shamed in the eyes of one’s local community helped to keep people in order. Although that didn’t quite work in the case of Mr Waldo.

 

The idea of being shamed by what anyone else may think of us seems a little quaint now. Self-expression trumps the censure of society. Who cares what the neighbours say? But perhaps good old-fashioned shame has nothing to be ashamed of. Even in our shameless times. Think of the habitual shoplifters who fear neither the opprobrium of society nor the sanctions of the law. The Old Testament prophet Jeremiah bemoaned the spiritually broken times in which he lived,  “they were not at all ashamed; they did not know how to blush”.

 

But it is sometimes recognised that shame may still serve a useful purpose. In a recent article in The Times the columnist James Marriott reflected on how we may cure people of their addiction to smartphones. He argued that the key thing is not so much the government clamping down on big tech, as socially stigmatising mindless scrolling, or using screens as a way of keeping the kids quiet. Oh, the shame of appearing to be a phone-addicted zombie.

 

Shame is the healthy, although uncomfortable feeling that arises when we are found out doing something wrong, or at least something that is frowned upon by society. It is a sign that our consciences are in good working order. Daniel (of the lion’s den fame) in the Bible confessed the failings of his fellow Jews who were exiled to Babylon in these terms, “To us, O Lord, belongs open shame…. because we have sinned against you.”

 

How can we hope to cover our shame and blot out the wrongdoing that caused it? Jesus came to deal with the guilt of our sin by dying on the cross for us. He faced the shame of public crucifixion as his enemies jeered at him, “If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross.” But it was precisely because he was the Son of God that he endured the cross, despising the shame. That is what it cost him to save us. By faith in Jesus we can know the forgiveness of our sins. Plus, the Scriptures assure us, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” 

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